Change, My Old Foe

I have always been told your 20's are for figuring out who you are, what you want, and for not settling. I was okay with that part. They told me you will fail in your 20's, you will make mistakes, and you will likely have to start over a bunch of times. I was rather hoping I would be the exception.

But a year and a half after I moved to Seattle, I am preparing to move back home with my parents. How millennial of me. I have become part of the countless number of over educated and underemployed of my generation who had to make the decision to move back home in order to keep going.

I took a huge gamble when I moved across the country to Seattle, one I didn't understand how huge it was at the time, and it was a gamble I lost.

In the past year and a half I was hired and laid off within six months because of company restructuring. My last childhood pet died. I was forced to take up in the hospitality industry again, something I swore I would never do. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My grandmother died. I went a period of completely breaking down where all I could was get myself to go to work and come home and sleep. I basically stopped functioning.

A few months after my mental collapse, I am doing much better, and I have the clarity I need to make decisions without freaking out. But things are still not okay here. I am going to leave Seattle. I am going to start over (again) in New York, my home. I don't intend to live with my parents for very long, but I cannot say what is going to happen. Every time I have been sure of my future it turned out to be completely wrong. I will be heading back to England for three weeks to kick start this new beginning and hit the reset button on my mental state before hitting the grind of looking for a job in NY. It is is going to be a tough summer, but I know this is the right choice for me. and even though I HATE change, I don't think I have ever needed change as much as I do right now.